She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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