honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
