Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
