I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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