We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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