I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Sponge bath it is.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
