My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
