She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
