Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
