I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
