why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
