he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Can I color on your dick again?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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