so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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