I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
