If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Is it penis luge time yet?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
