You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I need a beard to bite.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
