is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
