The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
