Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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