Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
