haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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