I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
