All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
