All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
