he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
