she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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