I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
