I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
