Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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