It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
