yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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