i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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