we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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