How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This baby is an asshole
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I smell like Dick and happiness
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
