There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
