If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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