I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
