1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
