Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
