You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
