I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
