Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Your penis caused this!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
