Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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