hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You can't motorboat a personality
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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