I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You are a genius and a whore.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
