He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
