im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
