I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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