as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Couch. On fire.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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