i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
