im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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