haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
