Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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