Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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