You just made me feel so damn special
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
