What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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