Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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