she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
