For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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