So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
