dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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