Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
