just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
