P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
